Your plane lands in the Philippines, and you’re hoping to meet a beautiful Filipina love. Dreams of dating an Asian girl have been building in your mind since 9th grade math class. Ok, maybe not. Maybe when you we’re 35 it hit you out of the blue. Maybe your first taste of an Asian girl got the best of you and you caught yellow fever forever. Whatever the case, here you are. The promised land. No more hoping to find an Asian girl walking around your local supermarket. You’re finally here and you couldn’t avoid them if you tried.
So perhaps you’re trying to find that beautiful Filipina love online, and you’ve been chatting with a few Philipino cuties here and there. You’ve learned the way they chat, the little acronyms they use (“bb” for “baby,” “oi” for basically getting your attention), started to text message with them, and you’ve finally set up a date. You’re on your way in the tricycle now. Or was it a jeepney? Perhaps you rented a motorbike?
She asks you to meet her at Jollibee because it’s a familiar location and easy for her to find. Ha. Ha. Ha. Easy for her to find? Really? She lives here. Jesus. But you don’t know her plans; you don’t know the subtle way she’s playing you. You think, “Ah, good idea, maybe she will be my Filipina love.”
Good morning. Leaving the Eurotel Hotel in Manila to the airport. I see some nice views of Manila. A few Embassies, the Philippines Army’s Headquarters, Marines Headquarters, and then I reach the airport. I buy some rum cake and fly to Dumaguete City, Philippines!
Free airport pickup from Hotel Nicanor and I see some sites on the ride to the hotel – Silliman University and the Lee Super Plaza. The driver helps me find a motorbike to rent (not cheap at 6,500 pesos). Another hotel employee helps me on my apartment search. Hungry so I hit up Jollibee‘s competitor called Scooby’s.
Later I hit the boulevard and Pirate’s Bay. Then I check some more apartments, the Why Not Disco. A random Cialis vendor tries to sell me some, then I hit the gym and a small convenience store called Steds for some razors. Back to the hotel to shower up and then I head out to Quezon Park for a free Colt 45 concert. I finish the night off at Jollibee.
Heading out to Jollibee in Angeles City, Pampanga. I try the new Sweet and Sour meatballs at Jollibee. I love those little fuckers. The motorbike guy puts cardboard and rocks on my bike which pisses me off. But that’s how he makes a living I guess.
Off to DAU Puregold which is my favorite grocery store in the Philippines. I buy some boneless bangus which is oh so yummy kaya.
There’s a Filipino man trying to sell an electric fan and washing machine at 9 in the morning. Jesus. At SM Clark and checking out the American Sbarro Pizza Company.
I’m back at the Angeles City apartment and I run into a huge war with a Filipino Spider. I end up killing it with a kill-shot in one attempt using Robi’s sneaker.
Back at SM Clark and I buy salmon and then an authentic (hmmm?) Nathan’s hot dog from America.
Looks like it’s 10 days and counting until I depart for my next destination: Dumaguete.
You’re at home and you’re sooo hungry. You’ve been stuffing yourself with Taco Bell and Jollibee for the last couple of weeks that the thought of greasy food is making you sick. What to do, what to do. You want something else! Well guess what, once again Soyummykaya and Mofu’s got you covered. One look at the soup picture to the right and already you’re salivating. Yummy!!! You decide you want Pork Sinigang soup for dinner. Here is how you cook it.